As we’re about to begin another weekend, I wanted to share a wonderful term I picked up from David Schwartz, Ph.D., in his book The Magic Of Thinking Big:
“Psychological Sunshine”
In the book, Dr. Schwartz gives an example of two different people and how they spend their weekends.
I don’t have the exact details in front of me, but it went something like this:
Person A, let’s call him Joe, is exhausted from his week at work. He wakes up late on Saturday, watches TV and drinks beer, he and his wife ask each other what they’d like to do…they don’t know, so they watch some more TV….Sunday’s the same…they’re too tired to see anyone or do anything…and when Monday rolls around, they still feel tired and dread another week of work.
Person B, let’s call him Jim, gets some errands done on Saturday, and then he and his wife have some friends over that they’ve been wanting to meet, and they enjoy having good conversation together. On Sunday, they plan a family outing — a hike outdoors where they get some exercise, enjoy the outdoors, and have some relaxed time together as a family.
When Monday rolls around, Jim feels refreshed and ready to dive into a new week. He enjoyed plenty of “psychological sunshine” on the weekend.
Dr. Schwartz also talks about giving your family the gift of “planned” time together…and I’ll add that this “planning” can apply to your own personal time as well…
And it doesn’t have to be sunny outside….last Friday night, I was actually feeling a little tired and I’ll admit, a little grumpy as the day was coming to an end and I was feeling like I’d missed an opportunity to have some quality time with my family. My oldest daughter was helping out at a friend’s house, and my wife suggested I take our middle two out to town on the way to pick our eldest up while my wife herself gave our youngest two a bath.
Just as dusk was setting in, we drove to our little harbor town on Lake Michigan, and as we approached, my daughter stated with enthusiasm how much she loved walking in town just as the lights were coming on. As we walked by the lighted shops, most of which were closed, Emmie, who can only see some light and color, would ask what each shop was. When we walked past the South Bend Chocolate Company Cafe (which was still open), my son Henri asked if we could step inside, and Emmie agreed. When I asked, “Why?”, Emmie said, “So we can look at the chocolates…” I commented that she couldn’t see the chocolates, but she just smiled and we went inside.
We were the last customers in the store, and after hearing a description of some of the things on display, we ended up getting two chocolate covered oreos–one for each of them. As we stepped outside with the little paper bag, both Henri and Emmie were very excited, and Emmie later told me she was trying to get me to get them something without actually asking directly…
We then walked to the harbor where there’s a grassy hill, and as a breezy, cloudy night was coming on, we ran and rolled down the hill a number of times. We then walked back to the car together just as it was starting to sprinkle.
I mention this story because it was a brief but very special time for the three of us–a memory we created together that we’ve already talked about several times since–and one that occurred when moments before it looked like the day was “over”, at least from my perspective.
That outing–on a cloudy end of the day–became a significant source of psychological sunshine for us that set our direction that weekend.
So how about for you?
What experiences are you allowing yourself and your family?
As illustrated above, something seemingly small can turn into something precious…
So enjoy some “psychological sunshine” this weekend, and let me know your own experiences in the comments below.
Dr. Ben
book and CD to my wife Rachelle,
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