Category: General

For Expecting Parents & Nursing Moms…

From time to time I get questions about pregnancy and birth, and the different options, choices, and decisions that arise.

Despite all the “science” and technology that now surround us, many parents intuitively sense that there may be answers for them that are more simple and yet more profoundly impactful than what technology alone can measure or medical science can tell them.

My wife and I have experienced this firsthand ourselves with our first 5 children, all of whom were born at home (after the first birth, Rachelle said just knowing she could get up and use the bathroom whenever she wanted was a big “plus”, not to mention being in her own bed and comfy chair and being waited on hand and foot right after the birth…), and I’ve also counseled many couples and worked with 100’s of deliveries both at home and in the hospital.

And now as Rachelle and I are expecting #6, and all the kids can eagerly feel her “kicking”, we again enter the mystery of what happens in the womb and at birth.

Last night Rachelle told me she’s been talking to “Ginny”, and wrote out some affirmations for the two of them for the birth, realizing that that will be a special time of their first “partnering” together as mother and child—in the powerful act of birth.

Given these experiences, and knowing there are many out there who would love to bounce ideas and questions off us from both a “professional” and personal perspective, we thought we’d find out how many are actually readers of this blog and the Dr. Ben email letter, and whether we could serve them in some way.

So…if you’re an expecting parent, or a nursing mom—that also is a wonderful journey that can generate much question and mystery—and you’d like to talk directly, simply say so in the comments below, and even leave a question or topic that you would love addressed.

If there’s enough interest, Rachelle and I may host an open teleconference call in the next week or two to connect with you all and address your questions.

Much love and blessings to you all!

Dr. Ben

“Psychological Sunshine”

As we’re about to begin another weekend, I wanted to share a wonderful term I picked up from David Schwartz, Ph.D., in his book The Magic Of Thinking Big:

“Psychological Sunshine”

In the book, Dr. Schwartz gives an example of two different people and how they spend their weekends.

I don’t have the exact details in front of me, but it went something like this:

Person A, let’s  call him Joe, is exhausted from his week at work.  He wakes up late on Saturday, watches TV and drinks beer, he and his wife ask each other what they’d like to do…they don’t know, so they watch some more TV….Sunday’s the same…they’re too tired to see anyone or do anything…and when Monday rolls around, they still feel tired and dread another week of work.

Person B, let’s call him Jim, gets some errands done on Saturday, and then he and his wife have some friends over that they’ve been wanting to meet, and they enjoy having good conversation together.  On Sunday, they plan a family outing — a hike outdoors where they get some exercise, enjoy the outdoors, and have some relaxed time together as a family.

When Monday rolls around, Jim feels refreshed and ready to dive into a new week.  He enjoyed plenty of “psychological sunshine” on the weekend.

Dr. Schwartz also talks about giving your family the gift of  “planned” time together…and I’ll add that this “planning” can apply to your own personal time as well…

And it doesn’t have to be sunny outside….last Friday night, I was actually feeling a little tired and I’ll admit, a little grumpy as the day was coming to an end and I was feeling like I’d missed an opportunity to have some quality time with my family.  My oldest daughter was helping out at a friend’s house, and my wife suggested I take our middle two out to town on the way to pick our eldest up while my wife herself gave our youngest two a bath.

Just as dusk was setting in, we drove to our little harbor town on Lake Michigan, and as we approached, my daughter stated with enthusiasm how much she loved walking in town just as the lights were coming on.  As we walked by the lighted shops, most of which were closed, Emmie, who can only see some light and color, would ask what each shop was.  When we walked past the South Bend Chocolate Company Cafe (which was still open), my son Henri asked if we could step inside, and Emmie agreed.  When I asked, “Why?”, Emmie said, “So we can look at the chocolates…”  I commented that she couldn’t see the chocolates, but she just smiled and we went inside.

We were the last customers in the store, and after hearing a description of some of the things on display, we ended up getting two chocolate covered oreos–one for each of them.  As we stepped outside with the little paper bag, both Henri and Emmie were very excited, and Emmie later told me she was trying to get me to get them something without actually asking directly…

We then walked to the harbor where there’s a grassy hill, and as a breezy, cloudy night was coming on, we ran and rolled down the hill a number of times.  We then walked back to the car together just as it was starting to sprinkle.

I mention this story because it was a brief but very special time for the three of us–a memory we created together that we’ve already talked about several times since–and one that occurred when moments before it looked like the day was “over”, at least from my perspective.

That outing–on a cloudy end of the day–became a significant source of psychological sunshine for us that set our direction that weekend.

So how about for you?

What experiences are you allowing yourself and your family?

As illustrated above, something seemingly small can turn into something precious…

So enjoy some “psychological sunshine” this weekend, and let me know your own experiences in the comments below.

Dr. Ben

“I am willing to change…”

Sometimes the biggest key to our healing is a willingness to change…

Now that may sound obvious, but let me ask you this:

In seeking to “get well”, have you had certain “parameters” around how the “answers”
and the “healing” could come to you?

How about with your money situation…

Again, have you held certain “fixed” ideas about how things would have to be,
or what would “have to” happen for things to get better?

For example, I spoke with someone yesterday who’s been searching for answers
to a physical condition for many years.

Let’s call her Carole (not her real name).

And in searching, Carole has undergone numerous tests and treatments—–both medical and “alternative”, but she’s frustrated because her condition continues.

What I realized in talking with Carole is that for her “healing” to come, the first thing
she’ll want to do is to let go of her attachment to how that healing would come—
the form in which it “should” come—–in this case, in the form of tests, diagnoses, and “treatments”, even though each of these may play a role.

I once heard about a practitioner in California who saw numerous clients
whose conditions had failed to respond to any kind of “ordinary treatment”,
and were at the end of their rope.

When they came to see him and asked him if he could help them, he would answer,
“If your problem is real, I can’t help you.  But if it isn’t, I can.”

Now at first this response may come as a shock…and in a sense, that’s what
it was intended to do—–to shock the person into a whole different paradigm,
a whole different way of looking at things—–from which standpoint their “healing”
could begin.

Sometimes with all of our seeking after tests, diagnoses, and treatments, we’re
“locking in” the “realness” of our condition…and keeping it there the way it is…

So today’s discussion is really a continuation of last week’s—–that the single
biggest factor in your healing is ultimately *YOU*—what beliefs are you rigidly
holding on to? and what are you willing to “release” in order to see things a
different way, and perhaps be given a whole new perspective that opens up
new possibilities for you…

a new way for you to be…

and a new experience of your body, your health, your money, or some other area of your life.

I’ll wrap up today with a phrase from Louise Hay that a wonderful client of mine used
in coaching someone else this week.

It’s an affirmation that’s really the starting point for all healing to begin:

“I am willing to change.”

If you want something to be different in your life, it all starts with you.

So are you willing?

Are you willing to change?

Play with this affirmation this week:

I am willing to change.

And see what comes up for you…

Here’s to a prosperous and blessed week,

Dr. Ben

P.S.  Each month I have space to work with a few clients one-on-one by phone
to launch them on a path toward healing that continues long after our
coaching session is done.  If you’re ready to explore investing in yourself
at this level, you can call me at 1-888-909-6601 to schedule a free 10 minute
coaching evaluation by phone.  If this proves a match for you, you can get on
on the waiting list for the next available spot!

Natural Healing: Practicing Life-Affirming Steps and Creating A “Happy, Healthy Atmosphere” For Your Cells

I’ve been pulling together some different material lately,
and while lying in bed with my wife and a couple of my kids
the other morning, I had a couple thoughts I wanted to share
with you.  Jotted them down, but didn’t get them on the blog
until today.

Firstly, a good friend just loaned Louise Hay’s wonderful little
I Can Do It book and CD to my wife Rachelle,
and after listening a bit, Rachelle shared with me a  thought
from Louise on health that immediately caught my attention:

Take simple steps to give your cells a “happy, healthy atmosphere”.

Today I want to combine this thought with one we’ve touched on
previously — what’s the single biggest factor that affects
your health?

Hint:  it’s got 3 letters…

And it’s not something you take or do…

It’s YOU.

Author Gregg Braden has several books out, including his newest one
The Spontaneous Healing of Belief: Shattering the Paradigm of False Limits, that make
accessible the large amounts of scientific research supporting the idea that our attention — and our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs — physically affect the molecules and space we live in and interact with.

So the biggest factor in your healing is not what supplement you
take or what treatment you engage in…

…but rather…

   **YOU**

That’s why you can have someone who’s not “doing everything right” (e.g.,  nutritionally),
but who’s happy and joyful and taking a few simple steps that give their
cells a “healthy environment” who’s thriving…

…while on the other hand, someone else who IS “doing everything right”
but feeling stressed that “there’s so much to do” and that they might not be
“doing enough”, continues to be ill…

This may not seem “fair” until you realize how things work, and that we all
get to choose every day which path we’ll take — one of struggle and fear,
or one of trust, love, and joy.

So practice taking simple steps to give your cells a “happy, healthy atmosphere” —
Gregg Braden calls these “life-affirming steps” — and then magnify them with
a joyful, grateful attitude.

To your abundant well-being,

Dr. Ben

P.S.  For my complete guide to life-affirming steps you can take in just minutes a day
to transform your health, get your own copy of Your Journey To Wellness and the
Foundational Wellness Program.
 

Natural Healing: “Why Am I Sabotaging Myself?”

Today one of my private coaching clients asked the question:

“Why am I sabotaging myself?”

Ever wonder that yourself?

Why you don’t do what you know you “should” to allow things to change?

Well, let’s hop back into our forest analogy from last week…

Imagine you’re in a forest, and you suddenly realize you’re not where you want to be, and you’re heading somewhere you don’t want to go…

And let’s say you get a glimpse—perhaps from a map, sign, brief hilltop view, or outside input—of the direction you do want to head to get where you do want to be.

Well, at this point, if your goal is to get somewhere else, let me ask you this:

Is it more productive to ask why you’re where you are in the forest…

Or…

To simply start heading in the new direction you now realize you want to take?

Think about that for a moment…

Now back to “real” life.

We’re not actually in a forest…so what does heading in a new direction “look” like in our experience?

It looks like new patterns…new steps…that we practice daily.

Once you realize you want to change the direction your body, your health, or some other aspect of your life (money, relationships, etc.) is heading, then the next step is to ask yourself,

What is one step I could take today to start heading in this new direction…

to start creating a new pattern…

that if continued and practiced daily…

will lead me to a new “place”…a new result—or experience—in my health, my body, or my life?

Then take that step…

And practice it daily…

Until you’ve created a new pattern…

And begin experiencing a new result.

Let me know your own experiences, comments, and questions below.

And have a blessed and wonderful week!

Dr. Ben