Letting Go of Fear…

Last night while looking up a resource for a friend who has
several people in his life facing a serious health crisis, I
came across this “Dr. Ben” letter I had written a few years ago
and realized it could still speak to those of you today who
are facing a serious crisis — either in yourself or a loved one —
and so I’m re-posting the letter here for you.  May it bring
you peace.

****

Today I want to speak to those of you who may be facing a serious diagnosis — in yourself or a loved one.  I went through this when my second daughter was born blind, and again when my mother faced cancer. Besides the emotions of fear, stress, and despair that can come up, I also know the anguish and exhaustion that come from trying to figure out the right thing to do.  Consulting experts, reading, researching, praying, discussing — all seem to be part of the process many of us feel compelled to walk through.  Yet even in the midst of this, it is possible to have an inner sense of peace, and that’s what I want to assist you with today.

In our culture, many of us have grown up focusing on “doing”, and especially in a crisis, I know my first tendency is to want to know what to do.

Well, in serious matters where there is not always an immediate or obvious solution, a “doer” can get so caught up in “research” and trying to make the right decisions — about treatment, care, travel, and so on — that the doer becomes totally cut off from their heart and their sense of being.

What I want to encourage you to “do” today, no matter how serious a situation you are facing, is to take a moment right now simply “being” — and affirm that “all is well.”  Though the surface of your life may be being tossed about by storms, at a deeper level you can connect to a sense of being that exists beyond your crisis, and it is from this connection that you can find the peace to hear, see, and receive what really matters.

Yes, this is a spiritual matter — one of faith.  Our beliefs and our spiritual energy are actually the most powerful in the universe in affecting our lives and our health, though many of us get consciously cut off from this awareness when we’re stressed wondering what to “do”.

Whatever crisis you’re facing on the surface of your life, let go of your fear and find that inner place of trust where “all is well.”  From there you can re-enter your situation with a new perspective that will allow you to receive good even in the midst of hardship, as well as be a blessing to others.

Peace to you.

Dr. Ben

P.S.  For further assistance with facing your fears in any health crisis, as well as practical steps to take, you can take a look at Your Journey to Wellness with Dr. Ben

How Twitter Has Enhanced My Business…& Enriched My Life.

I remember reading about Twitter a few years ago in an alumni magazine from MIT…and
the speculation as to whether people would really use it…and find it useful…

I now talk regularly with people who have hundreds of thousands of followers,
as well as sometimes with people who wonder what Twitter is all about…and again,
whether it’s truly useful.

While many enjoy Twitter for personal use — a source of connecting with people and
exchanging ideas and interests — I also know many who seek to use it as a business tool.

As I sit here listening to a Mozart piano concerto on my i-pod while typing (a great way
to “tune out” a noisy environment and focus :)), I’ve found Twitter to be an amazing tool
for connecting, for creating new relationships – often with people I never would have “met”
otherwise – and for sharing resources and ideas. In addition, Twitter has been a direct tool
for expanding my business — though still through the process of connecting and the
exchange of ideas and resources rather than “advertising” or “marketing” through twitter.

So to begin, I’ve used Twitter as a tool to “meet” new people, and to begin
new relationships.

When I find someone with similar passions or interests, or who’s shared something
on twitter of particular interest or impact to me, I often see if I can at first
engage them by an exhange of “tweets”.

Next, periodically I reach out to a person and see if I can “meet” them briefly
by phone. This allows another level of connection beyond what can be established
in 140 character tweets, and adds another dimension to the exchange of tweets
in the future.

Here’s a few examples of where this practice has led…

Through Twitter I’ve had the privilege of “meeting” and then getting to know
Dr. Mollie Marti, periodically exchanging ideas and resources that impact both
our personal and professional lives, and in particular, I’ve had the chance to
get to know her mentor through her eyes via her wonderful book Walking With Justice,
which now has a special place in our family library, and from which I read
to my family periodically.

Next, when our daughter Emmanuelle recorded her song “Night of Our Lives”,
I found that sharing it with people I’d built a specific connection with on Twitter
led to its being shared well beyond my own circles (and many shared on Facebook
as well, which is a whole other arena for building connections).

Lastly, here’s two examples for how Twitter has directly helped me expand my business:

First, in the process of building relationships with people, I’ve been able to connect
some of them with solutions my business could offer that were of personal interest to
them.

Second, I’ve had the privilege of meeting Dr. Fern Kazlow (aka “Dr. K”). Our “paths”
crossed on Twitter, and after reading her story on the website she had at the time,
I decided she was someone I wanted to meet. So I picked up the phone and called
her directly.

Over the next few months we engaged in an ongoing business dialog which has since
developed into a major partnership, opening up a whole new world of people,
business connections, and experiences that have blessed us both…and many others
through us.

So there you have it — how Twitter has enhanced my business, and enriched my life.

I hope these brief examples may trigger some steps you can take, whether it’s with
Twitter, or some other mode of expanding your connections with people.  And a special
“thank you” to all the wonderful people who’ve crossed my path, and with whom I’ve
had a chance to personally connect both through & beyond Twitter.

I guess the bottom line is that behind every tool and piece of technology, remember
there’s a person…and it’s ultimately connecting with people…and building relationships
that lead to enriching each others’ lives…including our businesses if
we have one…that’s the greatest reward.

Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

P.S. If you’ve been using Twitter, feel free to share how you’ve used it and what
the biggest benefits you’ve found to be in the comments below – I look forward to
hearing from you!

Navigating the Digital World with Erik Qualman and Digital Leader

I had the pleasure of meeting Erik Qualman and hearing him speak at a book signing for his new book Digital Leader at House of Blues in Chicago last night (many thanks to Brickfish who sponsored the event).

I’m always curious to hear what someone will share in a limitied “general” talk like this, and though Erik shared ideas that many may have heard before, he articulated them in a way that was very impactful and useable – and in particular, he raised great questions we can ask ourselves as we navigate our relationship with the digital world which now impacts us all.

Here’s a quick summary of some of the “take-aways” I walked away with:

First, what do you want your “stamp” to be online?

I love the visual and action-imagery this word conveys, and the simple yet clear question we can ask ourselves – and which we can apply to our entire life.

As applied to the digital world — What do you want your kids and grandkids to find of you online?

And here’s a challenge Erik gave us – to write what you want your “stamp” to be in 140 characters or less (the maximum number of characters that fit in one “tweet”). This challenge definitely requires some thought and ultimate clarity.

And here’s what “S.T.A.M.P.” stood for in Erik’s talk:

S – Simplification. Something we could all practice is this day of information and attention overload.

T – True to yourself. This is where true flourishing, fulfillment, and impact can happen.

A – Act — take the steps you can take.

M – Map — create a clear map for where you want to go.

P – People — find out what’s of interest to the individual, and choose who you surrouned yourself with…

Here’s a great focus point for all of us who have many emails, messages, and other things calling for our attention every day – focus on “output” rather than “input”. In other words, rather than going straight to all the messages calling for your attention today, begin your day by asking yourself,

“What are the two most important things I want to do today?”

This may seem very basic, but how many of us are practicing this on a consistent basis, and really being intentional about where our time and energy goes each day?

Next Erik shared a concept called “LIFO” – last in, first out – again something you may have heard before, but a great reminder and simple, clear way of articulating a very practical concept. When you have a “pile up” of emails or messages to get to…besides “arbitraging” the most important ones you want to address right away…for the rest of them, you have a better chance of making an impact by responding to something that just came in than by trying to answer something from 48 hours ago…and always being 48 hours delayed in your responses. You can even “train” people – especially if you’re traveling or otherwise occupied –- to re-email you if something urgently needs to be addressed.

And here’s a new way of describing goals – set laughable ones.

Set goals big enough that most people will laugh at them…and then when you find the ones that don’t laugh – realize that those will be the people who will support you in attaining them.

Which brings us to another great question Erik asked last night – Who do you surround yourself with This will have a tremendous impact on your experience and “output” for 2012.

So there you go. Hopefully one of these tips or questions struck a chord in you and you’ll begin acting on them right away to enhance your effectiveness this year, and your experience of the “digital world”.

Meanwhile, I’m heading over to Amazon to buy Erik’s new book.

Dr. Ben

3 Quick Tips for Creating A Magnificent Year

Here are three quick tips for creating a magnificent year:

1.  Pull forward the good from the past year

Whatever your disappointments may be from the year before – shake them off and pull forward what you’ve learned and what you appreciate –- highlights from your year.

Drawing a blank?

How about asking yourself, if you did know, what would they be?

In fact, take a moment and write 2 or 3 of the “learnings” or “highlights” down right now as they come to you.

Next…

2.  Sow daily toward what you want.

Here’s a key question for you:

Are you sowing daily toward what’s important to you, even if it’s only a few minutes a day?

Maybe it’s spending more time with your husband or wife…or your kids…or learning something new.

Rather than getting stuck in “all-or-nothing” land, start asking yourself what steps you could take a few minutes a day to sow in this area that’s important to you.

For me and my family a few years back, I made a decision to start sowing a few minutes a day toward growing a network and a business that was totally new to me, and at a time when I had no “extra” time…so that I wouldn’t be in the same or worse situation (working more and more hours away from the family) a year later…5 years later…10 years later…and that decision, and consistent sowing over time, has totally transformed our lives and allowed me to be home with my family while growing an international business that’s now touching lives in multiple countries around the world.

How about for you?

What’s an area that you want to see changed in the months ahead?

What plan and daily steps can you put in place to start moving in that direction?

Remember, it’s the direction you’re heading that’s more important than where you are right now.

3. Live from possibility rather than from pressure.

As you look forward – rather than feeling pressure – whether it’s pressure because of your finances, your health, or some other area of your life – rather than focusing on what’s still “not there” or how far you have to go – start looking at what’s possible.

What’s possible today?

What’s the next step I could take (in this area) today?

Or as the team at Access Consciousness likes to ask, “What else is possible?”

Play in possibility.

It feels different, doesn’t it.

My wife has a wonderful phrase “we’ll be met”…referring to the mystery, wonder, and power of being met by something beyond what we can fully see and control ourselves.

As long as we take the steps we can take, and keep our heart open, it’s amazing what can come into our experience.

Be open to be amazed.

And keep taking the steps you can take right now toward what you want, trusting that “you’ll be met” and eventually enjoy the fruit – of something that grows beyond just what you can see from your vantage point right now.

Live…and sow…from possibility rather than pressure.

It’s both more enjoyable and more fun!

Here’s to a powerful and transformational year for us all!

Dr. Ben

P.S.  To further assist you with step #1 and anchor a state of appreciation and gratitude as we enter a the rest of the year, here’s a wonderful video that was just shared with me by a friend. Enjoy!

What Story Are You Telling?

Quick question – What Story are you Creating & Telling Today? Enjoy!

Here’s a special gift from our 12 year old daughter. She wrote this when she was 11 and just recently, with the help of musician and producer friends coming around her, recorded this music video – Blessings & Enjoy!
(Note: This song is also available on iTunes here.)