5 Keys for Networking…and For Life

While driving home from a networking event the other night and reflecting on my experiences of the evening, I thought about the 5 key tips below.  I quickly jotted them down in my notebook before going to sleep, then filled them in over the next couple days as a reminder to myself…and to those of you on the path of life with me — here you go:

1)  Be Yourself — you fill a unique space in the universe. No one else can be you.  Your story and your journey add another unique hue to the rainbow of stories being created, and will have a unique impact on others’ lives.  Owning your own value and becoming comfortable with yourself is a great starting point for connecting with others, and in itself is a gift to those around you.

2)  Develop Yourself — continually invest in and develop yourself.  Always be learning, practicing, & developing new insights & skills as you master your craft & the arena you’ve chosen to play in.  This practice will build your self-confidence, effectiveness, and the tangible value you can contribute to others.

3)  Connect & Contribute Value — become a person of value — someone who’s interested in others and sincerely seeking to add value to their lives, even if simply by noticing & affirming them.

Asking this simple question, “What can I contribute to this person’s life (or business) today?” is powerful.  The answer may simply be a listening ear, a warm acknowledgement – a sense, as I heard Dave Blanchard mention recently, that “you matter” — or it could be something tangible such as a referral, a book or resource, or a practical tip or idea.

4)  Invite with Abandon — this one is key to network marketers, but also applies to anyone who’s looking to invite partners or followers to an event, experience, or cause.  There is a certain freedom to opening a door of possibility for people and then letting them decide whether they want to walk through.

5)  Be unattached & joyful — this one complements #4 — being “unattached” to how a person will respond enables you to be joyful & continue moving forward regardless of potential disappointments or unexpected negativity, and a joyful attitude is always uplifting and attractive.  In addition, people appreciate having their own freedom and autonomy honored, and that can actually draw them closer to you rather than pushing them away.

Finally, here’s a “Bonus” tip:

**Be Appreciative**

This tip alone will serve you both in life and business and especially in relating to people.  Being appreciative is something you can practice just like a golf swing.  Begin with your attitude and the words you say to yourself, and then extend this practice to the words and attitude you share with others.  Being appreciative will put you in a state that’s attractive and a joy to be around…and no matter what, you’ll feel better…which is what all of us are seeking daily, anyway — to feel good about ourselves and others.

So there you have it — five keys and a bonus one for networking and all of life.

Which one do you choose to focus on today?

 

A “New” Definition of Success

My wife shared this wonderful affirmation from a card on her
desk with me this morning, “Success Is About the Joy I Feel”.

Reminded me of some reflections the past few days as we’ve
just moved into a wonderful new home –- some of our friends
and business partners have been calling it our “dream home”,
and it is indeed the next phase of manifesting a new chapter —
and space, both literally and figuratively –- in our lives.

But what I’ve noticed after moving into our new home, and with
this affirmation in particular giving me the words to express it
–- is that we carry our joy with us…and within us…

If we depend on a new home or some other “outer” thing or
circumstance to bring us joy, we may be setting ourselves up
for disappointment –- because when the newness wears off, we
may find ourselves even worse off than before, because what
we’ve been working toward doesn’t bring the lasting joy we
thought it would…

Conversely, if we realize we carry our joy within us –- and we
practice finding appreciation, joy, and wonder wherever we are –-
then we can move into new spaces and new situations and
fully enjoy them…while not depending on them for our joy.

So here’s to finding joy in your journey, and to creating more and
more joy around you because you realize you carry your joy within you.

And here’s to wonderful new “spaces” and new experiences for you
in the days ahead!

Dr. Ben

Rachelle's Desk
Rachelle's desk in our new home

Letting Go of Fear…

Last night while looking up a resource for a friend who has
several people in his life facing a serious health crisis, I
came across this “Dr. Ben” letter I had written a few years ago
and realized it could still speak to those of you today who
are facing a serious crisis — either in yourself or a loved one —
and so I’m re-posting the letter here for you.  May it bring
you peace.

****

Today I want to speak to those of you who may be facing a serious diagnosis — in yourself or a loved one.  I went through this when my second daughter was born blind, and again when my mother faced cancer. Besides the emotions of fear, stress, and despair that can come up, I also know the anguish and exhaustion that come from trying to figure out the right thing to do.  Consulting experts, reading, researching, praying, discussing — all seem to be part of the process many of us feel compelled to walk through.  Yet even in the midst of this, it is possible to have an inner sense of peace, and that’s what I want to assist you with today.

In our culture, many of us have grown up focusing on “doing”, and especially in a crisis, I know my first tendency is to want to know what to do.

Well, in serious matters where there is not always an immediate or obvious solution, a “doer” can get so caught up in “research” and trying to make the right decisions — about treatment, care, travel, and so on — that the doer becomes totally cut off from their heart and their sense of being.

What I want to encourage you to “do” today, no matter how serious a situation you are facing, is to take a moment right now simply “being” — and affirm that “all is well.”  Though the surface of your life may be being tossed about by storms, at a deeper level you can connect to a sense of being that exists beyond your crisis, and it is from this connection that you can find the peace to hear, see, and receive what really matters.

Yes, this is a spiritual matter — one of faith.  Our beliefs and our spiritual energy are actually the most powerful in the universe in affecting our lives and our health, though many of us get consciously cut off from this awareness when we’re stressed wondering what to “do”.

Whatever crisis you’re facing on the surface of your life, let go of your fear and find that inner place of trust where “all is well.”  From there you can re-enter your situation with a new perspective that will allow you to receive good even in the midst of hardship, as well as be a blessing to others.

Peace to you.

Dr. Ben

P.S.  For further assistance with facing your fears in any health crisis, as well as practical steps to take, you can take a look at Your Journey to Wellness with Dr. Ben

How Twitter Has Enhanced My Business…& Enriched My Life.

I remember reading about Twitter a few years ago in an alumni magazine from MIT…and
the speculation as to whether people would really use it…and find it useful…

I now talk regularly with people who have hundreds of thousands of followers,
as well as sometimes with people who wonder what Twitter is all about…and again,
whether it’s truly useful.

While many enjoy Twitter for personal use — a source of connecting with people and
exchanging ideas and interests — I also know many who seek to use it as a business tool.

As I sit here listening to a Mozart piano concerto on my i-pod while typing (a great way
to “tune out” a noisy environment and focus :)), I’ve found Twitter to be an amazing tool
for connecting, for creating new relationships – often with people I never would have “met”
otherwise – and for sharing resources and ideas. In addition, Twitter has been a direct tool
for expanding my business — though still through the process of connecting and the
exchange of ideas and resources rather than “advertising” or “marketing” through twitter.

So to begin, I’ve used Twitter as a tool to “meet” new people, and to begin
new relationships.

When I find someone with similar passions or interests, or who’s shared something
on twitter of particular interest or impact to me, I often see if I can at first
engage them by an exhange of “tweets”.

Next, periodically I reach out to a person and see if I can “meet” them briefly
by phone. This allows another level of connection beyond what can be established
in 140 character tweets, and adds another dimension to the exchange of tweets
in the future.

Here’s a few examples of where this practice has led…

Through Twitter I’ve had the privilege of “meeting” and then getting to know
Dr. Mollie Marti, periodically exchanging ideas and resources that impact both
our personal and professional lives, and in particular, I’ve had the chance to
get to know her mentor through her eyes via her wonderful book Walking With Justice,
which now has a special place in our family library, and from which I read
to my family periodically.

Next, when our daughter Emmanuelle recorded her song “Night of Our Lives”,
I found that sharing it with people I’d built a specific connection with on Twitter
led to its being shared well beyond my own circles (and many shared on Facebook
as well, which is a whole other arena for building connections).

Lastly, here’s two examples for how Twitter has directly helped me expand my business:

First, in the process of building relationships with people, I’ve been able to connect
some of them with solutions my business could offer that were of personal interest to
them.

Second, I’ve had the privilege of meeting Dr. Fern Kazlow (aka “Dr. K”). Our “paths”
crossed on Twitter, and after reading her story on the website she had at the time,
I decided she was someone I wanted to meet. So I picked up the phone and called
her directly.

Over the next few months we engaged in an ongoing business dialog which has since
developed into a major partnership, opening up a whole new world of people,
business connections, and experiences that have blessed us both…and many others
through us.

So there you have it — how Twitter has enhanced my business, and enriched my life.

I hope these brief examples may trigger some steps you can take, whether it’s with
Twitter, or some other mode of expanding your connections with people.  And a special
“thank you” to all the wonderful people who’ve crossed my path, and with whom I’ve
had a chance to personally connect both through & beyond Twitter.

I guess the bottom line is that behind every tool and piece of technology, remember
there’s a person…and it’s ultimately connecting with people…and building relationships
that lead to enriching each others’ lives…including our businesses if
we have one…that’s the greatest reward.

Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

P.S. If you’ve been using Twitter, feel free to share how you’ve used it and what
the biggest benefits you’ve found to be in the comments below – I look forward to
hearing from you!