What Are You Comparing To?

Been pondering something we do everyday, almost without
thinking, that powerfully affects how we feel about ourselves
and what we’re doing.

The neat thing is that as we become aware of this, we can
consciously use this tendency in a way that purposefully
benefits us.

Whether it’s with our health, our weight, our “productiveness”
and “success”, our parenting, our relationships, or something
else…

…I’ve found that how we feel in a given moment is often
directly impacted by what we choose to “compare to.”

Even just for ourselves—-are we comparing to what’s gone before,
and noting the progress we’ve made…or are we comparing to
what hasn’t happened yet, and feeling frustrated or overwhelmed,
or even a “failure”?

It’s interesting how our brains work.

Dan Ariely, a researcher formerly from my alma mater MIT, a
great TED speaker, and author of Predictably Irrational, has
pointed out that human beings tend to assign value only in
reference to something else.  I once heard him give the example
of Olympic medalists, asking, “Who do you think is generally
happier with their medal – silver medalists, or bronze medalists?”

The natural thought would be that silver is better than bronze,
but his research showed that the bronze medalists were generally
happier, and his reasoning was that the silver medalists looked
at the gold and felt badly that they came so close and didn’t
“make it”, whereas the bronze medalists looked at all the others
who didn’t get a medal, and were glad they got a medal at all…

So back to us and our daily lives – now that you know your brain
is constantly looking for references to “compare to” and decide
how to feel, you can choose to compare in ways that feel good…

that inspire you to move forward…

rather than ways that overwhelm you or shut you down.

How?

Begin by finding something to appreciate…something you’ve done
well, something that’s gone well…maybe right now it’s just your
own awareness or the potential for things to be different now
that you’re thinking differently.

Next, focus on progress…compare in ways that you feel good about
the progress you’re making…if there’s no outward “progress” yet,
begin by noting that your direction is different.

Perhaps the progress is simply that you’ve held a certain focus or
direction longer than before.

In fact, what direction you’re heading is so much more important
than where you are right now.  (You can read more about that here.)

In the meantime, throughout the day, ask yourself, “What am I
comparing to?” and consciously choose comparisons that inspire you
to move forward, rather than those that make you feel small or
inadequate.

Deal?

How about leaving a comment about your own comparisons and
experiences below.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Dr. Ben
P.S.  Been enjoying this music from Hayley Westenra as I write this,
and thought I’d post it directly for you here. Enjoy!

The “missing link” to the “Think & Grow Rich” Formula

Just came across Robert Anthony’s new “Secret of Deliberate
Creation”
course – a more advanced and “updated” version of
his excellent “Know How To Be Rich Course” which I’ve listened
to multiple times, and which greatly aided me in my transition
into free enterprise…and the principles are applicable to
any deliberate change you want to create in your life–whether
it’s your health, finances, or some other aspect…even though
the examples given largely have to do with getting over lack
and into an experience of abundance with money.

The free report is excellent and presents a core question &
thinking that I haven’t seen presented this clearly or
succinctly before, and which directly addresses what many
leave out when applying the “Law of Attraction”…

…and the first email you’ll receive on certainty has already shifted
my thinking another level as I apply it to my own business and
cash flow.

If you’re interested in the full program, I’ve secured a
special discounted link for you…though even if not, the free
report is definitely worth a look this weekend and will only
take a few minutes:

Robert Anthony’s Secret Of Deliberate Creation & free report

Enjoy, and be sure to leave a comment on your own shifts in
thinking and results below!

Dr. Ben

The Applause Of Heaven

This message was re-brought to my attention by a couple
of subscribers who received this by email this week, &
re-experiencing how powerful this is myself, I decided to
re-post it here…Enjoy!

****

Let’s do a quick experiment.

In a moment, I’m going to send you to watch a quick 3 minute video.

As you watch, though, and you see everyone clapping and cheering,
I want you to imagine for a moment that they’re all cheering for you.

A few years ago I read excerpts from a book by Max Lucado with
a wonderful title:

The Applause of Heaven

Today as I watched the video of Paul Potts singing below, I imagined the
feeling of people clapping and cheering for me, and I realized
how deeply the desire to be loved, accepted, and approved runs
in all of us.

For a moment I want you to experience the feeling of being
cheered, of being loved.

Whatever your circumstances, whatever your failures, whatever
you feel you’re lacking or wish were different, take a moment
now, watch the video, and enjoy the feeling of being cheered,
loved, and celebrated just for being you.

Then leave a comment about what you experience below.

To a blessed and wonderful week!

Dr. Ben

The Parable of the Trapeze

Heard this interesting “parable” from a business leader named
Dan Conlon at a talk in the Chicago suburbs this weekend, and
felt it had such a broad and powerful application to any key
transition in life that I wanted to share it with you here.

Dan called it, the “Parable of the Trapeze”

Imagine swinging on a trapeze…and as you reach the end of
your swing, another trapeze bar is swinging towards you.

You know that bar is for you.

Now you’ve got to let go of the bar you have in order to grasp
that next bar…

similarly in our life, relationships, health, or business, when
called to a new level, we have to let go of what’s comfortable
and familiar, and we’ve got to grab hold of the next “bar” so
we can travel the distance we’re meant to go.

If you let go consciously it looks really cool; if you let go
hesitantly – it looks really bad.

In between is where you’re the most alive — where you’ve
let go of one bar and not yet grabbed the next one — there’s
something new, and there’s risk. 

Now here’s a key:

If you focus on the doubt, gravity begins to take over.

On the other hand, if you let go of the bar consciously and
grab the next one, you can build momentum in your life.

So next time you’re faced with something new, remember the
“Parable of the Trapeze.”

Dr. Ben

P.S.  Just heard from Dan that the Parable of the Trapeze originally comes from Danaan Parry – “Hurtling through the void, we just may learn how to fly.”