Is Your “Identity” Holding You Back?

IDENTITY One of the things I often encounter when interviewing someone who wants to create income in a new arena (such as network marketing), is a fear of moving beyond their current identity and status. This fear, or dilemma if you will, is one that anyone can encounter who’s being called beyond where they are now, especially if they’ve spent years developing skills, a reputation, and achievement in a certain arena, or even if they’ve simply gotten comfortable with what’s already familiar and what they already know how to do.

So today regardless of your background – whether you’re an at-home mom or dad; a student, a teacher, or an employee; an author speaker, or coach; an athlete or artist; or a business owner or professional; or something else – here’s my question for you:

Are you being called – do you have a desire – to create and contribute beyond the current professional or personal identity and role that you’re in?

And if so, do you have the courage to step beyond where you are now?

Whether or not it actually manifests as you doing something different,PURPOSE there is a new level of freedom when you’re no longer attached to being seen, appreciated, or needed in a certain way. (Or conversely, no longer limiting yourself with such statements as “I’m just a…” or “I’m not…” These are statements of identity that unconsciously put a lid on how you see yourself, who you could become, and what you could do.)

I remember when being a home-birthing doctor gave me a special relationship within my particular church community – drawing to me relationships, respect, and people seeking advice – and it was a very rich and fulfilling experience. I even remember the wonderful feeling of being appreciated as the “hero” at some difficult births.

Yet there came a point when to expand our practice and serve more people, we began stepping into a partnership with midwives, moving more into a supportive role rather than being the “primary practitioner” at a birth.

At first I felt like something was missing, but I eventually reached an internal place where serving the outcome – a wonderful birth experience for the couple and family – and serving people – was more important than my actual role and recognition in the process.

That became an incredibly freeing transition, and opened up new doors of exploration, creativity, and contribution in life that have eventually led to where I am today.

Some may wonder – what about their degree and years of schooling, or what they’ve invested in their current career or role – and what I’ve discovered for myself is that rather than that being “wasted” or tossed aside – that’s all part of the “ingredient mix” that have gone into who I am today, and that I bring to the table with every interaction in life and business.

Much like a mom or dad who may walk away from years of schooling or professional achievement to be at home for a time, or someone who may choose to go to the mission field or develop another part of themselves and the gifts they can bring to the world – nothing’s ever wasted…it’s all still part of who you are…you’re just no longer letting any of what you’ve already done or achieved define or limit who you are and what you can do.

“Forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to what is before…” (Philippians 3:13) — though given with a deeply spiritual context, this quote conveys a principle that has broad application to all areas of our human experience.

And realize, I’m not necessarily talking about doing something different than you’re doing now, but rather coming from a different place – a place of freedom from attachment to being seen in a certain role or identity – that may open up fresh perspective and possibilities — either within your current work and relationships — or it may indeed lead to new outward forms as well, just as it did for me.

POSSIBILITY

So in closing, let me ask you again – is your identity holding you back, or is it something malleable that you can use as a springboard to greater and greater levels of exploration, development, and contribution?

If you’re willing to create beyond your current identity and step into the exciting “unknown,” it could become a deeply fulfilling – and freeing – journey.

So here’s to the freedom and exhilaration of creating beyond where you are now, and how you see yourself today.

Enjoy the journey!

Dr. Ben

P.S. Are you currently in transition or looking to expand your income or your impact beyond what you’re doing now?
Explore further at Work with Dr. Ben.

A powerful (yet simple) way to shift your energy and results over the next 30 days

How’d you like to learn a simple process that takes about 5
min’s (or even less) but gives you 6-8 hours worth of results?

Imagine compounding that every day for the next 30 days…

Now this is so simple that you’ve probably heard it (or
something like it) before…but do you realize how powerful it
is…and are you deliberately practicing it on a daily basis?

Here it is:

Choose what you’re thinking about…and what thoughts, feelings,
and images are playing in your mind…just before you fall
asleep.

Many people are letting the news or something distressing
they’ve just watched be the last thing that’s playing in their
mind before going to bed.

Others end the day with frustration or fears and burdens that
are weighing them down.

These thoughts and feelings in a way are continuing to “marinate”
and draw more of that feeling and energy to you throughout the
night.

So instead, how about deliberately practicing thinking about
something that makes you feel good – something or someone you
appreciate…that you’re thankful for…that you love.

It could be a success or a smile or a hug from earlier that day
that’s now gotten pushed out of your mind by other “tasks” and
burdens that have come to you since…or it could be the things
you love – music, biking, a sunset, or something you’re looking
forward to.

Just taking a few moments to deliberately think about something
you love and appreciate – about things that make you feel good –
things you’re thankful for – can immediately shift how you feel.

And doing this right before you fall asleep sets the “path”, in
a way, for what your subconscious will be exploring…or “marinating”
in…while you sleep.

I had a powerful experience with this practice just this weekend.
My wife and I were both a little tired and cranky at the end of a
long day apart, and actually “snapped” at each other just before
going to bed.

So when my head hit the pillow – all of a sudden I felt miserable –
my shoulder ached, I was frustrated, and I didn’t feel like I
could fall asleep.

Then I remembered this practice, and started silently offering thanks
– particularly for my family…and ultimately my wonderful wife…
and within moments, my energy totally shifted…

I had a mini (or perhaps not so “mini”) reconciliation with my wife,
and a wonderful night’s sleep awakening with a “happy feeling” even
before I remembered what I was happy about.
(And my wife was very happy, too…)

And here’s the key – moments before giving thanks, I was on a totally
different “path” headed for a miserable night…and any other option
was not even “Visible” until I actually started giving thanks…

So here’s the trick – knowing this is not enough…what can you do
right now to set an intention…or a reminder…to do this tonight…
and every night for the next 30 days?

Look forward to hearing about your own practice and results in the
comments below!

Dr. Ben

Why I chose Network Marketing

Have you ever questioned what you’re doing, or wondered what
you “should” be doing to make a living and make a difference?

The other day I was listening to one of the founders of the
company I’m partnered with talking about how when he grew up,
people would say, “Do what you love.”

Probably something you’ve heard before and thought about, too,
just like me. 

He said that phrase was confusing for him, though, because he
loved to play basketball and he loved to ski, but he wasn’t
sure how he could make money doing those things.

It was later on in life that he discovered that the key for
him was to find something to do that was in alignment with his
values
.  From there he could derive passion and purpose.

So as I reflect on my journey into network marketing – from
electrical engineering to medicine, and now to developing an
international business team from the comfort of our home in a
resort town in Michigan, I remember a vivid & key moment for
me about eight years ago.  I was standing in our first home at
the edge of our small kitchen facing the end of our living-room
couch, and found myself asking God to enlarge my heart for people.

I don’t remember what pre-ceded that moment, but I distinctly remember that moment.  Perhaps you’ve had moments like that which still stick in your memory today.

It was shortly after that that I was introduced to the business team that would transform both mine and my family’s life. 

And as I’m sitting here on the roof of Joe’s overlooking the harbor (that’s where I was when I recorded a quick message to myself with these tho’ts), one of the things that stands out to me is the answer to this question:

What are the values that have brought me here to network marketing?

And I realize that the core value that’s brought me here is the desire, and the purpose, and the passion to empower people.

That’s one of the things I love about network marketing – much like what was at the heart of what I did as a physician – the opportunity to work with people to improve their lives.

What drove me here was a desire for freedom and flexibility to be with my family, and what’s kept me here is the opportunity to work with people to change their lives – people whom I might otherwise never have known.

Oh, and my wife’s leaning over to say in my ear, “I love our life” as I’m listening to the soundtrack of Prince Caspian and typing this doesn’t hurt either…as well as the whole world of learning and growth that has opened up to us and our children through the doorway of entrepreneurship.

But it wasn’t always this way – there’s definitely been a journey and a process…and having a core vision and values – even ones that have developed, been tested, and become more clear along the way have been key.

So here’s a question for you – what are your core values?

What’s important to you?

And how can you connect what you’re doing daily to what’s important to you?

Look forward to hearing your own thoughts in the comments below, and in the meantime, here’s a video shared with me by my 13yo daughter – and choreographed by a very gifted young choreopgrapher in the Chicago area. Both the song and the dance communicate a simple yet radiant joy and spirit that I think you’ll appreciate as well. 

Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

The Call

Create “Mini Vacations”

As a followup to last week’s post on magnifying your good by celebrating highlights of your day, here’s a quick video tip I shot on the shores of Lake Michigan while out with my wife and youngest two kids this morning.  You’ll actually see our youngest son run by me halfway through the video – he knows how to “dive right in”…to water…and to life…

Enjoy!

Dr. Ben

P.S.  Would love to hear about your own “mini vacation” ideas – ways you refresh & recharge & connect to what you love, in the comments below.

How to Magnify Your Good (no matter how your day is going…)

While taking an evening bike ride a little while ago, I was
reminded of a practice that has propelled me forward & created
significant anchors for me in the past year, regardless of how
my day was going.

I recorded a video tip on this back in January, and here’s
some further thoughts to ponder:

Every day, take note when you’re feeling especially good…

when you’re particularly enjoying something…

and celebrate that moment as a “highlight” of your day.

That way no matter what happens the rest of the day…no matter
what disappointments or frustrations…or how well you’re doing
in school or in your business or with your work goals…

…or with your family and relationships…

you can celebrate at least a moment of something “good” in your
life…

something you enjoyed…

something you appreciate.

Someone once said a happy life is a series of happy moments
strung together…

But there’s something about the way we’re wired that if we
actually take note of them when they occur, we anchor them
further and can even “appreciate” or “magnify” them in a way
that brings them more and more into our experience.

About a week ago I enjoyed a conversation with a wonderful
businessman from Hawaii who has “re-invented” himself and
expanded into new arenas multiple times in his life, and he
shared with the few of us who were listening how key it is
to “appreciate” rather than “depreciate” each step of good
that comes to us in a new venture, regardless of how small
it may seem to us compared to something we’ve already
accomplished in the past.

He emphasized when creating something new, let go of “remember when…”
and focus on appreciating each step of progress now. 

This practice allows more to come to you and truly “appreciates”…

or magnifies and multiplies…

the good that you’re enjoying.

This practice of appreciating reminds me of the advice from
Louise Hay about tomato plants – when you plant some seeds,
and the first sprouts appear, you don’t stomp on them and say,
“but I wanted a tomato plant!”

Rather, you celebrate that your seeds are starting to sprout…

and you continue to nurture and cultivate them until they grow
into a full-grown plant that bears fruit.

Food for thought…

How about practicing finding, creating, and celebrating “highlights”
of your day each day this week, and appreciating…

rather than depreciating…

each sign of progress and each “sprout” of good that comes your way.

Would love to hear some of your own experiences and insights
in the comments below!

To a blessed and wonderful week!

Dr. Ben